What lies across the gap
by Vic-Makara
Summary: Blue eyes moved from right to left, inspecting the dim, messy apartment, the only apartment that John and his roommate could afford to pay.
1. Chapter 1 Blue gaze behind the fire

The lights were out and a candle was flickering on a table in the middle of the room, blue eyes moved from right to left, inspecting the dim, messy apartment, the only apartment that John and his roommate could afford to pay. It wasn't that bad, it just needed some cleaning, John always cleaned but Dave always managed to make it look like a mess in a second, other than that the only problem they had was that the light constantly going out.

John sighed, bored, it was another night when Dave wasn't there to be with John because of his ridiculous job as a DJ. John used to think a DJ wasn't an actual job, Dave didn't care at all, if he did what he loved that was cool enough for him, it paid the rent, at least. As for John… he liked to call his situation "constant trips out to get a new job, with no luck".

Wind blew through an opened window and turned the candle's fire away, the room got darker and John looked over at the only source of light in the room, the window. He looked down to a familiar car, that red crappy car that always used to carry Dave and his DJ stuff, John felt how a smile grew on his face, truth is, John has had a crush on him for a while but, he obviously wouldn't tell him, he was too scared to ruin their friendship, besides, this was Dave's place after all, if Dave got angry at John's confession then John had to move out and he wasn't in the best position to get a new place.

John saw as Dave walked out of the car and got inside the building, the lights went out so the elevator wouldn't be working which means he would take a while before getting there. John sighed and walked over his room, it was pretty late and John liked to stay up just to see Dave got home safe and sound, hopefully, Dave had never noticed that, because he knew Dave would be a pain in the ass if he knew, making all kind of stupid jokes about how gay that is.

Flopping down on his bed, John set his glasses on a drawer nearby and looked at a blurry ceiling, waiting for the sound of the door to open and close, the same routine, then fall asleep. He wondered for how long this will keep up, John didn't want to keep things hidden, but he didn't want Dave to know. The sound of the bathroom door open and close, teeth brushing, toilet flushing, everything was recorded and John knew it by heart, he was such a dork to fall for his friend like that. The bathroom door again, open, close, and then empty footsteps drawing towards Dave's room, open, close, and it was done.

A few moments were left for John to think, tomorrow was one of those days John always loved because Dave stayed home all day and they could watch TV and stay in their pajamas all day to wait for their show late at night. Obviously, Saturdays were John's favorite and John loved to cook stuff for Dave. Dave always told John how bad he is at cooking but whenever they were done Dave always told John how much he liked the meal.

John began making plans of what he could cook the day after and what kind of stuff they could do together without realizing it was past 2 am, in the end John sighed and stopped thinking about that. Silence reigned and John felt his eyes getting heavy, it was late, and tomorrow was going to be a new day.


	2. Chapter 2 Pizza and movies

It was getting late and John's and Dave's favorite show was about to begin, John was sitting on the floor in front of the couch as usual while Dave was laying on it. Dave began the day as monotone and boring as he usually would, getting cereal for breakfast, talking about work from last night and how "cool" it was and how he got a lot of numbers from cute girls and all. John would nod and smile at Dave's story, he seemed so happy when he talked about what he liked but, whenever Dave got to the part where he talked about cute girls on the club and how much they swoon over him, John always tried to change the subject. Dave always said that John was jealous because he was picking girls and John wasn't but he was wrong, in a way, John WAS jealous but not because of that.

John offered to cook dinner for both of them like he always did and Dave refused, he was used to the same routine but, this time, Dave was serious, he said that he didn't want John to bother cooking when they had money to just order some pizza and just be lazy the whole day, John was okay with that since they hadn't had pizza for a while and Dave probably would want to eat some, maybe he missed his usual meal.

There they were, eating pizza and watching TV from morning to evening, John loved being around Dave if only for these moments when they usually didn't talk at all, Dave made sarcastic commentary about the show or the characters and John would agree or disagree, whatever it was, it always ended in giggles.

"I can't believe you're making me see this crap until our show begins." Dave groaned, looking up at the ceiling, Ghost Rider was out of the irony meter, it's always been, anything that involved Nic Cage was out of range for him.

"Shut up, Dave! It's awesome, how many times do I have to tell you that Nic Cage wearing a leather jacket and killing bad guys with his Ghost Rider powers is by far the most amazing thing ever?"

"If you tell me one more time I might barf."

John nudged Dave and shook his head, he knew Dave didn't like Cage flicks and maybe that's the reason why he always plays them when Dave was home, a grin appeared on his face as he kept watching the movie. Dave didn't bother looking at the TV anymore.

"Just tell me when it's done so we can watch something good."

John shrugged. The movie was done and there were some minutes before their show started, John looked up, hesitating a little before speaking.

"Dave? Are you going out tomorrow? Because I thought we could go somewhere, you know, like a park and have a cool picnic and all! I just don't want to be in here all the time." John asked and Dave looked down at John, his mandatory shades on place, he sighed and shook his head.

"Sorry man, I can't, you know I told you about this cute chick I met yesterday at my gig and we are going out tomorrow, but hey, next weekend we're definitely going out to your dumb picnic if that's okay." John opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out, he just nodded and looked back down at the TV. It would probably was going to be another boring day without Dave, but it didn't have to be, John could go out on his own. "That would still be boring…" John whispered and leaned against his knee.

"You said something?" Dave called out and John shook his head with a chuckle.

"Not a thing. Look! Our show is up next!" John focused on the show, trailing his eyes up at Dave sometimes, he loved being with him even if they weren't as close as John would like to.


	3. Chapter 3 Don't leave me

Weekend went by fast and, as far as John knew, it was probably one of the most boring weekends he had ever had. Dave wasn't there to keep him company and the park was full of plain boring people. Nothing out of the ordinary happened at all.

Week was as busy as always: John barely was in the apartment while Dave was there the whole day, except when John got home he was leaving to his usual job at 9pm, usual hellos and goodbyes went back and forth, coming from each other's mouths, they didn't have enough time to be together in between the week. Luckily the week was over fast and, to top it all, John finally got a new job in a pharmacy. It wasn't that bad paid and it was easy, rearrange the med pills and bottles, labeling product and some customer service, it was nice.

It was Friday night again and it felt like the world lifted over John's shoulders again, meaning the next day Dave and he would have another day of laziness and movies.

John was, as usual, waiting next to the window, gazing down at the street waiting for his friend's arrival, making sure he was coming home and didn't get kidnapped along the way or some stuff like that. It was a little early that day so Dave wasn't arriving for 2 hours to say the least, so John had time to do something else while Dave was gone but, somehow, all that work that he was not used to for a while got him tired and fell asleep on the chair, leaning against a desk next to the window.

"Hey, hey John, wake up." The next thing he heard after falling asleep was the sound of a familiar voice, it was probably Dave, but that could only mean that he totally overslept on a desktop, way to go John. Dave was nudging John slightly, trying to wake him up. John just groaned in response and wiggled a little, in the end he looked up at Dave and scratched his eyes from under his glasses.

"Oh… hey Dave, what time is it?"

"Like, 2 am or something, what the hell are you doing sleeping here? Were you doing homework or something?" Dave looked over at the desktop and then back at John who was still half asleep.

"What? No, I just… It's nothing I just; I'm just going to sleep at my room, alright? I'll see you tomorrow." John got up the chair and walked up to his room, closing the door behind him and flopping on his bed. He did good, or so he thought, he was lucky he was half asleep or else he would had said something stupid or would had freaked out if Dave found out that he was there waiting for him.

-o-o-o-o-o-

The usual sound and smell of a breakfast invaded the place, eggs and bacon which was John's and Dave's favorite. John was an early bird while Dave always got up late, but not that late. Usually, when John was done doing breakfast, Dave was always ready on the table, with that face that says 'I didn't sleep well at all', but it was probably because sleeping at 2 am and waking up at 10 am wasn't healthy at all. John set up the plates on the tables and sat down in his usual spot in front of Dave, with that toothy grin always in its place.

"Morning, Dave. I got our favorite today, hope you like it."

Dave only muttered something that was something like 'thanks' and began eating and so did John. It was really quiet this morning and it was quite unsettling, awkward even.

"Uhm, so hey, Dave, how was work yesterday… err… today." John giggled a little and Dave stopped chewing and he muttered something inaudible.

"What? Dave, are you alright?"

Dave nodded and rubbed his temples, sighed deeply and looked at John with a serious face, it probably was the most serious face ever because it was even obvious through Dave's shades.

"I'm hung over as shit, is all."

John had to stifle a laugh so Dave didn't have any headaches and just nodded.

"Well okay, I can make you some coffee if you'd like." John had to talk as low as possible, it sounded like a whisper which was really funny, John thought.

Dave nodded and finished off his dish while John stood up to make some coffee, John was glad these kind of days were back when Dave and he could be alone having some fun, if only John was.

-o-o-o-o-o-

John was ready sitting in front of the couch, waiting for Dave: it was almost time for their show and Dave missed the movie day, or at least most of it, he just stood up randomly after looking at his phone and started showering and some other stuff in his room. That was probably one of the weirdest things he had ever done, he could miss anything, hanging out with his friends, going to a party, a picnic with a friend, but he would never miss the movie night.

"Dave! Our show is about to begin! Hurry up now!" John yelled out so Dave could hear but there was no response. John sighed and sat up on the couch, commercials said that the show was about to begin and Dave was still locked inside his room doing who knows what.

"Yeah, about that…" Dave's voice was heard coming from inside his room before he walked out, John turned around to see Dave wearing a fancy tuxedo, with a tie and all. John had to admit that he looked good, way to good for his own good and he couldn't help but drop his jaw a little.

"… I totally forgot to tell you I have a date set up for today, sorry man I can't join you today to watch our show, but I'll make it up for you, some other day, alright?"

John felt like someone was pushing against his chest, he wanted to scream, to tell Dave not to leave him alone.

"But… this is our night; this is supposed to be the night for us both, you know? Dave's and John's Saturday night." John begged Dave, who was already walking towards the front door, Dave turned around and sighed.

"Sorry, not tonight, it's cool dude, we don't even see each other the whole week, you can survive a day without me." And with that, he was gone.

John turned around, facing the TV that was airing their show already, it was probably too boring or John had a lot in his mind, but the show was ignored. John hugged his knees and was left alone in the apartment, the light coming from the TV shining on him.

* * *

Sorry for the lack of updates for a while, I had a problem with my computer, anyway, even if I don't get lots of reviews, the little I get is much appreciated, thank you guys :3


	4. Chapter 4 Can we talk?

It wasn't going to do it. Not any other single drop of whatever the hell John was drinking was going to change the fact that Dave wasn't there and probably will never be.

John threw the glass at the sink hard enough to make a loud noise but not enough to break it. What was the point? Why would he care anyway? Dave clearly didn't: he went out on a date on the only day they have together. If a friendship that's lasted some 8 years wasn't going to help, nothing would.

He didn't want to stay there anyway; he wanted to go, to run away, the last thing he wanted was to Dave show up and watch him like this, that wouldn't be pretty at all.

John walked into his room, put on some clean, nice clothes and walked off like that. He didn't care at all where he just didn't want to stay there for the moment and probably for the whole night. He stopped at the little drawer next to the front door, wondering if he should write Dave about this, to tell him he wasn't going to be there for the night so he didn't have to worry.

"No… no he didn't even care what I felt, why would I?" John clenched his fists and walked out; he wasn't going to stay there to think of the possibilities or what he could do to tell Dave. For what it mattered, Dave wasn't going to know anyway, not anytime soon, maybe ever.

-o-o-o-o-o

People were walking by, talking, groups laughing and a band playing. John didn't have a clue where he was but he thought it couldn't be a bad place. He walked up to the bartender and asked for a drink, nothing with alcohol, he already had enough of that, probably.

The feeling in the place was friendly and it was cheering John up, his usual smile was back on its place and he looked like nothing had happened.

"Forgive my rudeness, but you do not seem like the kind of person to find in a bar." A female voice attracted John's attention, a woman who was sitting two seats away from him, she was wearing a fancy dress and her hair was short, she seemed really classy and her voice was sweet and the way she talked seemed like she liked to pronounce each words carefully.

"Excuse me?" John added, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"Please, don't think I'm trying to be rude. I just think you look like such a nice young man to be in this place, you seem more like a person who likes to be indoors, if you know what I mean." The woman stood up and walked up to John, stretching out a hand for John to take. "Forgive my manners, my name is Kanaya."

John took Kanaya's hands within his own and shook it slightly. "My name's John, and don't worry about that, I must admit I have no idea where I am and what I am supposed to do here, so I just figured people come here to drink." John chuckled and Kanaya took a seat besides him, a gentle smile always placed on her face.

"You can say that's one of the main reasons people come here, they try to find redemption in the hands of alcohol, a really bad decision if I do say so myself." John nodded and looked down at his glass that only had lemonade. "At least I can say that you are not here for that, or are you?" Why would John want to tell anything to a woman who he just met moments ago? But, somehow, he felt like someone needed to know, she was a complete stranger, nothing could ever go wrong, the worst thing that could happen is that she could freak out and walk away. John sighed and looked up at the woman.

"Well, you can say I'm here to forget things, I just don't want to end up doing something stupid by drinking alcohol, I just needed to get out of my apartment." John finished his lemonade and Kanaya nodded.

"I see, I do not mean to pry but, as I said, you do not seem like the kind of person to find here, would you care to talk about it? I am an excellent listener." John hesitated a little before talking.

"Well, I have a roommate, we've been best friends since we were 13, talking through the internet, we used to live so far away from each other and, somehow, we ended up in the same city when I went for college and he had to walk out of his brother's house. Anyway, I've always looked up to him in some way, he is really cool and he has a lot of girls, he could have all the girls he wanted, he knows how to handle all kinds of situations, he's funny, he can be grumpy but that's okay I mean, everyone is, right? Well… I've always liked him, in a more than friends way, the thing is that he probably doesn't like me back and I'm just too scared to tell him, what if he freaks out and kicks me out? What if he…" And then, silence, there was a gap of silence and Kanaya nodded.

"What if he doesn't like you back? Is that what you tried to say?" John nodded and Kanaya's smile grew a little wider. "It's alright, dear. Fear lies within all of us, but it is defeating that fear to do big things that makes us strong. Tell him, don't be afraid to tell him, if he kicks you out well, I'm sorry to be the one to bring the bad news to you, love, but that would mean he wasn't a true friend. The truth hurts, but it's better to move on, it's good for you." Kanaya placed a soothing hand on John's shoulder and stood up, John looked up at her with teary eyes and Kanaya placed a kiss on his cheek. "I am sure everything will turn out to be magnificent dear, fight your fears to get what you want, if you do not get it, well, something else will show up eventually. Now, I must go, I wish you the best of lucks."

John looked as the tall lady walked away, her hips moving with such harmony, he stared until she was out of sight. It was probably faith, could it really be? What are the odds?

John stood up, left some tip for the bartender and left the place, all that talking made him think: he started thinking about the pros and cons about telling Dave and, if Dave was truly what John thought he was, the pros list was at least twice as long as the cons, that lady was right, there was no hiding it anymore. Dave had the right to know the truth and John just couldn't keep hiding all of this inside his chest anymore. Saying nothing more, he started walking towards his apartment, to wait for Dave, even if he had to stay up late.


	5. Chapter 5 It's okay

The keys were echoing through the hallway, it was obviously late at night and the date was over. Dave was walking down the hallway, trying hard not to scratch his eyes: he was tired and sleeping so late for multiple, or even all the nights was starting to be bad for him so, right now, all he wanted was to get to bed and sleep until 2 pm.

The keys sounded again on Dave's hand as he grabbed the right one to open the door to his apartment, put it right inside the keyhole and turned it. The door slowly opened and the first thing that Dave was able to see was John sitting on the couch, his blue eyes directly looking at him.

Dave didn't say anything, he just nodded to acknowledge John and went past him towards the bathroom and John had nothing in response. Dave could have sworn that John tried to tell him something but he wasn't so sure about that, either way he took a while in the bathroom doing his own things. When he was done he walked out of the bathroom to be greeted by the same eyes looking directly at him, but this time, John was right in front of him.

"Sup." Dave said, trying hard to hide how surprised he was by John sudden greeting.

"Dave I think we, uh, I think we need to talk." It seemed like John was trying hard not to look away, but his eyes never left Dave's, or Dave's shades.

"Hey dude, if it's for today's show and all that stuff, I already told you I'm really sorry but… you know, well, a date and all it's not something you just let it slide away, and, if it makes you feel any better, the date was horrible, turned out this girl doesn't like rap and all that stuff so it was kind of a boner kill-"

"Dave" John interrupted him right away. "It is not because of tonight, and I'm really sorry your date didn't turn out to be good or how you expected it." John sighed and finally gave in looking down. "The thing that I want to talk with you about is something else, is something more serious and I'd really appreciate if you listen to what I have to say."

"Yeah, about that." Dave ran a hand through his blond hair and crossed his arms. "I'm really tired right now and I just want to go to bed and slee-"

"No Dave it has to be now!" John looked right back up at Dave, his voice louder than usual, it was a relief Dave was wearing his shades because his eyes widened at John's change of tone.

"… Fine then, if it is THAT important then I'll listen." Dave leaned back against the bathroom door, waiting for John to start talking.

"Okay, well, it's something really hard for me to say, mostly because I've never said it to anyone, because I was so obsessed that maybe it could turn out to be good, and now here I am and I can't just pick up the words and I'm rambling oh god." John scratched his head furiously for a second and looked back up at Dave, he took a deep sigh and looked more than ready to talk.

"Dave, I think I… I think I like you." John said, his face growing redder at the second he said it and Dave could have sworn that the sound of his heart thumping was audible because of all the sudden silence. Dave hesitated a little before speaking.

"Well, yeah, I know you like me, if you didn't you wouldn't be living here in the first place, right? And I like you too man I mean…" John started shaking his head and placed a hand on Dave's shoulder, making him shut up.

"No, Dave you're getting it wrong, I LIKE like you, as in I'm always with that guy because I love just being with him, as in I count the hours before he's coming home, as in I wait for him every night just to check he comes back home safe, as in I wish that guy could… I wish that could just kiss me right now because if he doesn't I might explode and die forever."

Dave's mouth opened a little and his body stiffened, his best bro in the world just told him he likes him, as in more than friends like him, that wasn't good, what was going to happen next? Dave had no idea what to say or do and it seemed like hours before he spoke.

"Wow… I had no idea you felt that way"

"Probably because I was scared, and because I'm too much of a mess to even say it to someone, ugh I'm such a failure." John turned away and placed both hands on his face from under his glasses.

"Hey, no, you're not a failure dude…" Dave turned him around and looked at him. "… listen, maybe if you had told me this before then you wouldn't had felt so bad, and if you fail at something is at not trusting your feelings, what did you think I was going to do? Punch you? Kick you out or something? Dude, you're my best friend… err I mean… fuck I'm sorry… The point is! You had no reason to be scared…" Dave was left speechless for a moment and John's face was looking directly to the ground, he knew he had to say something, to keep talking, soothe the guy. "… Listen, I have to admit something too. I'm… well, I'm mostly straight, yeah, I've never felt anything for a guy, not that I've ever known and I always have dates with girls and… well, I still have something to say that I've never told anyone, and it's that, from times to times, sometimes I, uh, I just feel like I want to kiss you… you know… like an impulse…"

John's face looked back up at Dave, his eyes wide open and his face red as could be.

"And, this is probably the gayest thing I have ever said, or the first time that I've told this to a guy, but I tell you this, because I know something is in there, but not that deep, you know?"

On John's face a smile started to grow, making Dave feel a lot better.

"Now, come here and give me a hug you big retard." Dave pulled John closer to him and wrapped both arms around the shorter, dark haired boy. John hugged back and nuzzled against his chest. They stood there for a while, John was sniffing, trying hard not to cry, happiness or nervousness, he couldn't tell anymore, Dave was brushing John's hair with his hand saying "It's okay." Over and over.

And it was okay, everything was okay for John right now.

* * *

Hey guys, I'm really sorry for the lack of updates, I went to visit my dad and my laptop broke and to top it all I had an artist block, I knew what was going to happen next but I didn't know the exact words if I'm being clear... well anyways, enjoy the sweetness for now. :3


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